Now, what else is there?
In a previous blog, "Who's in charge of you, You", I said, "I propose that we can accept the current loss while focusing on future restoration. "
I now disagree with that statement.
That blog, was written while I was an inpatient during a very long stay in hospital.
It made sense that I would propose a belief of positive acceptance, helped by the belief of " ..future restoration.."
As sobering a thought as it may be, how can we be sure of a future restoration? In my own case, I could have walked out of hospital, only to be run over by a bus.
As I write, it is the end of another year, and naturally, my mind is thinking ahead.
However, my focus is not to build hope in a future that controls the present, but to encourage making the best of today to lay the foundations for the tomorrows to come.
Live with every heartbeat
The phrase, "Living in the now", is a well-used used almost meaningless phrase. However, it is still a key principle to live by. Simply, the past is gone, the future is yet to come, so what other time period can you live in but right now?
Living in the now is a skill I know I am still learning, and always will be.
We are constantly called back into our history and find ourselves replaying our old mistakes in our minds. We may even find our current behaviours and emotions are operating out of that space.
Eventually, this leads us to living in the past, becoming stuck.
Also, we may be constantly wrapped up in our future plans and hopes. Our focus on future relationships, family events or career aspirations may be what we are living for. Effectively, this means you are putting your current life on hold.
How about, "Fail to plan and you plan to fail",
or,
"If you don't learn from your mistakes, you are doomed to repeat them"
I believe these are still true. Yes, we all need to have plans for where we want to go in life.
College courses are a plan of study with a goal for an improved career.
A course of counselling may be aimed at improving your relational skills with the aim of a future marriage. House renovations don't just happen. They are planned for months, even years.
It is not that we should not plan. It is that the plan should not become the focus of our day, today. We simply do not know what circumstances may lie ahead that could sabotage this plan.
The aim is to enjoy learning and doing what there is to be learned and done today. In doing so, you are laying a solid foundation for what you are planning to do next. Let tomorrow look after itself. What else can you do?
Also, I am not saying we should ignore the past. The past provides the context for today.
We need to know where we came from to understand who we are today.
Our awareness of the past should not make us stuck there trying to resolve it. We use what we learned from our yesteryears so as to gain an insight into how to make today better.
Hope for this moment, and the moments after it
Encouraging a life where we live in the now does not mean hope has no meaningful purpose.
The truth is, as human beings, we are drawn to have hope for our future. It is an instinctive need.
I believe we can not place our hope for our life in events that may or may not happen in the future. I believe we should focus our hope on our ability to cope with our future.
To cope with a future that may well be filled with disappointments and failure, as well as joy and success.
This resilience is what we hope for in our future. A resilience where we can ride the currents of life as they happen. A contentment with our circumstances despite what storms are blowing around us.
It may sound pedantic to say, but there is a difference between hoping for and hoping in something for the future.
If we are hoping for something in the future, we are looking forward to the possibility of it happening. This is perfectly appropriate.
It can be very motivating to see how we live today, especially when that hope is a realistically attainable one. This hope recognises that things may not work out. While that will cause disappointment, it won't be devastating.
To hope in something is a much bigger commitment. A commitment that if the plan doesn't work out, we may feel that everything we have worked towards has come to nothing.
A plan that we personally invested in has failed. This can lead to a large sense of personal failure that is hard to recover from.
Faith is closely connected to hope. Hope is an internal source of personal strength. Faith is an external source of strength. Faith and hope often work in tandem together.
More thoughts on what guides us through difficult moments
I explore similar questions about purpose in ‘What Gets You Up in the Mornings?’
The role of hope in looking to the future is reflected on in ‘Hope’.
If you’re trying to balance today’s struggles with the bigger picture, ‘Small Picture Big Picture’ might resonate.