Small Picture Big Picture
About halfway through my chemotherapy, which I was on for 5 months in total, I was really struggling with accepting what was happening.
I accepted that my survival prospects were good, but I was angry with the life I was losing. Simply put, I just felt it was unfair. Additionally, I had lost my spacious, bright room, which had an access space before entering, making it very private. I was now in a dark, poky room which looked straight onto the main corridor.
I had a long way to go, and things seemed to be getting worse.
I took solace that the moment I was caught in was just that. A day would come when I would re-enter the fullness of life, I believed. I wanted to see the big picture.
On being Diagnosed with Cancer
This blog was written when I was in the early stages of being in hospital, being treated for cancer, the 2nd half of 2020..
In many ways, this reads as a diary entry where I outline the events of my illness, starting with pre-diagnosis and ending somewhere after my first of six rounds of chemotherapy.
I delve into the emotional and physical trauma of that time. What gave me strength and what made me weak. Relational and spiritual issues are highlighted.
This is all in the context of the initial 2020 lockdown, which meant I had to experience this painful medical world alone.