Counselling for the Thorns in Life

A Scarlet Firethorn - Pyracantha - In the garden area outside the Prevail counselling room.

Counselling therapy is a very varied work.
Every client that I meet is unique.
Every client presents with their own ups and downs.


I asked myself recently how I should acknowledge my own ups and downs to myself.
This led to the need to do likewise for the clients.
Here I present an answer to that question.

The Perfect Garden?

As you may know, I work out of a purpose-built cabin in our back garden. The area is sectioned off beside the side entrance to maintain client confidentiality.
There is a small garden in front of the cabin.
As opportunity has allowed, I have painted the walls, kept the grass, and planted some shrubs. As you can appreciate, I have done my best to make it look NICE.

As you can see below. Do you agree with me??? 😉
Though I will admit the paving needs to be cleaned!!! 😒

The Imperfect Life

Recently, I have been facing up to some disappointments in my own life. I sensed I needed to mark it in some way.
It has been my habit in recent years to use a plant in the garden to mark whatever story is on my mind.


This time I wanted to use a thorny shrub. The reason was to represent the thorns in life that can be hidden in the context of something beautiful.
I got a Scarlet Firethorn.
The man who sold it to me assumed it was for keeping children or animals away.
For a change, I thought of using the Prevail garden and not our family garden.

I got to thinking how I could use this plant, not only to represent my own struggle, but also the clients’.

It is very tempting in counselling to help clients only smell the roses of life. To cast their eyes upon the wonderful colours and inhale the sweet fragrances.

However, every rose has its thorns. Resolving our problems is not an easy process. Learning new ways of viewing the world takes a lot of time and effort. Regardless of that difficulty, it is necessary. For instance, the client may have to stop lifelong practices of thought and behaviour.

For this blog, the event you are commemorating is not the issue. What I do want to get across is just how hard it is to work through some problems.
Having a memorial such as my Firethorn shrub can be helpful for this work.

Clients respond to the message that working through a problem is hard work, usually with a faint smile and a shrug of the shoulders. Motivation to change is not to be taken for granted.

My hope is that this Firethorn bush will speak of the beauty of life with its expected white flowers, followed by red berries.
May it also speak of danger, as those thorns are long, strong and sharp. We need to be careful with the beautiful things in our lives.
You never know if what we love will hurt us. Usually, we are only deeply hurt when what we love goes wrong.

Working with a Scarlet Firethorn

When I got the Firethorn, I wondered where exactly I would put it.

The purpose of a memorial plant such as this, is that it would be seen. I want to remember the story it is telling me.
I want to be reminded to make the choices that the Firethorn represents. I do not want to make the same mistakes.

While I want to see the shrub, I also don’t want to see it.
Constantly bombarding myself with a negative memory will eventually lead to avoiding the memory completely. So yes, I need to see the firethorn, but not have it in my face.
So I put it away from being visible to me in the counselling room.

Uniquely, this memorial plant is also a counselling tool.

No client will ever be aware of the significance of the plant unless I tell them. I could see myself doing this if the situation is right.
In my coming and goings with work, I will be reminded of the plant’s story in my life.
It is opposite my office window. That reminder will help me to handle clients gently, just as I do with the firethorn.

Their problems are real, painful and perhaps hidden behind an outer appearance that may be very pleasant.
Just as the thorns on the shrub are hidden under leaves, flowers or berries.

One last issue about where I put the firethorn.
I put it in an odd place. I put it in front of a pillar.

Asthetically, it should have gone to either side of the pillar. Putting the shrub in front of the pillar means it protrudes into the garden.
It should really be tidy against the wall, but no, this plant doesn’t play by the rules.
It will grow where it is not wanted. As a climbing plant, it has no wall to climb against.
In a year or two, I will have to put a trellis of some kind behind it to support it.

This Firethorn will definitely be demanding of my careful attention. That is exactly what I need, to be reminded of the story that it has to tell.
As I care for it, hopefully it will become a beautiful addition to the garden.
With this beauty, I pray, will come a healing of the story.

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