Now, what else is there?

Now, what else is there?

In a previous blog, “Who’s in charge of you, You”, I said, “I propose that we can accept the current loss while focusing on future restoration. “
I now disagree with that statement.

That blog, https://www.prevailcounsellingtherapy.ie/blog/loosing-self-autonomy-during-cancer-treatment/ was written while I was an in patient during a very long stay in hospital. It made sense that I would propose a belief of positive acceptance helped by the belief of, ” ..future restoration..”
As sobering a thought as it may be how can we be sure of a future restoration? In my own case I could have walked out of hospital, as I did a month later, only to be run over by a bus.

As I write it is the end of 2023 and naturally my mind is thinking ahead. However my focus is not to be building hope in a future that controls the present, but to encourage making the best of today to make the foundations for the tomorrows to come.

Live with every heart beat

The phrase, “Living in the now”, is a well used almost meaningless phrase. However it is still a key principle to live life by. Simply, the past is gone, the future is yet to come, so what other time period can you live in but right now.
Living in the now is a skill I know I am still learning, and always will be.

We are constantly called back into our history and find ourselves replaying our old mistakes in our mind. We may even find our current behaviours and emotions are opperating out of that space. Eventually this leads us to living in the past, becoming stuck.
Also we maybe constantly wrapped up in our future plans and hopes. Our focus on future relationships, family events or career aspirations maybe what we are living for. Efectivelivy this means you are putting your current life on hold.

How about, “Fail to plan and you plan to fail”,
or,
“If you don’t learn from your mistakes you are doomed to repeat them”.

I believe these are still true. Yes we all need to have plans for where we want to go in life. College courses are a plan of study with a goal for an improved career. A course of counselling may be aimed at improving your relational skills with the aim of a future marriage. House renovations don’t just happen. They are planned for, for months, even years.
It is not that we shold not plan. It is that the plan should not become the focus of our day, today. We simply do not know what circumstances may lay ahead that could sabatoge this plan.

The aim is to enjoy learning, and doing what there is to be learned and done today. In doing so you are laying a solid foundation for what you are planing to do next. Let tomorrow look after itself, what else can you do.

Also I am not saying we should ignore the past. The past provides the context for today. We need to know where we came from, to understand who we are today.
Our awearness of the past should make us stuck there trying to resolve it. We use what we learned from our yesterdays so as to gain an insight into how to make today better.

Hope for this moment, and the moments after it

Encouraging a life where we live the now does not mean hope has no meaningful purpose.
The truth is as human beings we are drawn to have hope for our future. It is an instinctful need.

I believe we can not place our hope for our life, in events that may or may not happen in the future. I believe we should focus our hope in our ability to cope with our future. To cope with a future that may well be filled with disapointments and failure, as much as joy and sucess.
This resilience is what we hope for in our future. A resilience where we can ride the currents of life as they happen. A contentment with our circumstances despite what storms are blowing around us.

It may sound pedantic to say, but there is a difference between hoping for and hoping in something for the future.
If we are hoping for something in the future, we are looking forward to the posibility of it happening. This is perfectly appropriate. It can be very motivating to how we live today, especially when that hope is a realisticly attainable one. This hope recognises that things may not work out. While that will cause disapointment, it won’t be devastating.
To hope in something is a much bigger commitment. A commitment that if the plan doesn’t work out we may feel everything that we have worked towards has come to nothing. A plan that we personally invested in has failed. This can lead to a large sense of personal failure that is hard to recover from.

Faith is closely connected to hope. Hope is an internal source of personal strength. Faith is an external source of strength. Faith and hope often work in tandem together.